What is the critter’s name? 

Carl Jr.

Does the critter have any nicknames? 

He’s simply Carl Jr.

What do you estimate the critter’s age to be? 

A handful of days at most.

How would you physically describe the critter? 

He’s a freshly-hatched, shrivel-y, big-mouthed Northern Cardinal nestling. He has swollen-looking eye sockets and weird nearly-translucent skin. Ugly as sin. You can see his heartbeat through his skin. When his mouth opens it’s almost like you could see clear through to his cloaca. 

What’s the critter’s personality like? 

Hungry. Meep-y. He seems to only care about his parents putting bugs into his mouth-hole.

How does this critter react when you see each other? 

He literally cannot see out of his still developing eyes, as they are sealed behind a layer of seemingly semi-translucent skin. I’ll be a surprise for him to glimpse as soon as those peepers are ready to get a load of me.

How did you meet each other? 

I stood outside his home and looked directly into his living space, unnoticed. I set up a camera in a window of my home for the purpose of peering directly into his bedroom. I am not a stalker, at least not in any legally defined way. I don’t think you could say we have “met.” But I’ve definitely had my eyes on him.

What does the critter enjoy most? 

Bugs in his mouth-hole and then immediately pooping out a little white sac-looking thing that his parents take turns picking up with their mouths and discarding somewhere away from the nest.

What’s your most cherished memory of the critter? 

Watching his parents (Carl & Maureen) build a nest, then seeing brown speckled eggs sitting in the middle of the nest and watching the mother incubate for days and days. One day the eggshells were gone and there he was with a brother or sister, all shaky and vulnerable.

What do you admire about this critter? 

His appetite and ability to complain, even while getting what he wants.

What do you imagine is the critter’s dream job? 

He seems like he might be a good singer one day.

What would the critter’s dream house look like? 

Probably exactly like the house he grew up in. I imagine he will enjoy roosting in cedar trees when he grows up big and strong.

How would the critter spend their time if it were entirely up to them? 

Eating and shitting, apparently.

What sort of person would the critter be if they were a human? If this critter is a human, what sort of non-human animal would they be? And why?

A complainer, for sure! Just a non-stop negative sort of person. A real drag to spend time with. This is just my impression of him, based on his behavior that I’ve personally observed in his nest

If the critter were in a situation where they could make a choice to save your life, would they? 

Nah, I can tell he’s out for himself already and he’s only a few days old.

What is the critter’s favorite treat? 

It seems like it’s small bugs so far.

What is a typical day like for this critter? 

Wobbling around, eating the fuckton of bugs his parents bring to him, growing thin pin feathers and shitting little sacs his parents cart off somewhere away from the little prince.

Does the critter interact with our pet library? If so, do they demand to visit it? What sort of things housed inside do they enjoy most? 

He doesn’t know about the library yet. Maybe when he grows up, he will hang out in the surrounding plants and serenade passers-by. At least, I hope.

What do you believe is most important for us to know about your critter? 

He’s just a little guy and he’s so innocent and vulnerable. I’m really rooting for him to grow and grow into such a big boy who will sing and do his little laser zap sounds nearby for years. Maybe he will raise a brood in the tree he’s growing up in next year. 

Is there anything else you’d like to tell us about your critter? 

There was another nestling early on (Carla). One day they were just no longer there. There was something about the way Carl Jr. was shifting around his little baby pin-feathered wings that morning that made me suspect he had something to do with his sibling’s sudden disappearance. I don’t want to get into accusations. I’m simply putting it out there as a possibility that he may have – possibly even ACCIDENTALLY; it could be totally innocent, you know? – crowded out his nestling pal and they tumbled out of the nest. I don’t know, but I’m just saying. Maybe. It could be so innocent, you know? I hate even bringing it up, but like I said, it’s just something I suspect. A feeling. An instinct. So, I’m putting it out there for discussion, I guess. There’s just something about Carl Jr. that ain’t quite right, maybe. 

Does this critter have a social media account you’d like us to know about? 

He’s so blessed to know nothing about the existence of social media