What is the critter’s name?

Rupert

Does the critter have any nicknames?

Rupertina, when they are in a feminine mood.

What do you estimate the critter’s age to be?

Rupert is ageless.

How would you physically describe the critter?

Rupert is about the size of a spaghetti squash with mottled grey, shaggy fur all over his back. His face has short, creamy white fur covering his needle nose snout where he has a mouthful of intimidating, pointy teeth. Rupert has bright, alert eyes, even when you disturb his sleep.

What’s the critter’s personality like?

Rupert likes the finer things in life: a soft bed of discarded cardboard, the last morsels of wet cat food left in a tin and a luxurious plastic den. However, if you wake Rupert up at the absurd hour of 9 am, he will be very cranky.

How does this critter react when you see each other?

Rupert communicates mostly with hisses.

How did you meet each other?

One very hot summer morning, I was taking the cat food cans out to my recycling bin. We then met eyes over a discarded tomato can. Unfortunately, Rupert appeared to be stuck, and he was panting from the sun and the heat. I gently turned his plastic den-turned-prison gently on its side. Rupert seemed reluctant to leave (or perhaps just too dehydrated and hot). So I left the bin on its side in the shade and filled one of the empty cat food tins with water. Luckily, Rupert had moved on to another luxury accommodation by the next morning.

What does the critter enjoy most?

Cat food.

What’s your most cherished memory of the critter?

After that initial summer of occasional Rupert sightings and visits, Rupert disappeared with the green leaves in the fall. I was overjoyed the following summer when I again saw Rupert on my porch. However, Rupert now had a tiny Rupert in tow, so he went by Rupertina that year.

What do you admire about this critter?

I admire Rupert’s zest for life!

What do you imagine is the critter’s dream job?

Probably overnight garbage collection.

What would the critter’s dream house look like?

Plastic. Air-conditioned. Blackout curtains. Filled with wet cat food.

What sort of person would the critter be if they were a human? If this critter is a human, what sort of non-human being would they be? And why?

Rupert would be an effete older gentleman who wears silk smoking jackets in his run down apartment surrounded by his old Broadway playbill collection.

If the critter were in a situation where they could make a choice to save your life, would they?

Yes, of course. He owes me for saving his.

What is the critter’s favorite treat?

Cat food.

What is a typical day like for this critter?

Rupert sleeps all day! When not interrupted by nosy neighbors with annoyingly empty cat food cans, that is. At night, he delights in all the luxuries that Volker has to offer.

How would the critter spend their time if it were entirely up to them?

Rupert would travel the globe by plane where he would always outpace the sun and remain in the cool comfort of night.

Does the critter interact with our pet library? If so, do they demand to visit it? What sort of things housed inside do they enjoy most?

Rupert does not yet know the delights of the pet library, because he is his own opossum, and he is no one’s pet.

What do you believe is most important for us to know about your critter?

It is most important to know that Rupert’s zeal for life has kept him active and productive around the neighborhood for many years.

Is there anything else you’d like to tell us about your critter?

Rupert thinks you have lovely eyes.

Does this critter have a social media account you’d like us to know about?

He has a PO Box, but that is for his pen pals.